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Author: Subject: March 2009 Newsletter

Mood:  Bemused
posted on 3-2-2009 at 02:57 AM Edit Post Reply With Quote
March 2009 Newsletter


Mac’s Moments

Owwwww!!!!!! Ladies and Gentleman and all other Wizard players, it’s the event you’ve all been waiting for. In this corner, weighing in at just over 200 pounds, standing an incredible 6 feet 1 inch, last years winner of the Picktor Tournament, the 5th place finisher at the 2007 Wizard International Tournament and quite the handsome guy, it’s MACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCTooooooooonight and in this corner from parts unknown, weight unknown and generally unknown is the great Vallllllllllkyriieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Mactonight – Hey Valkyrie.

Valkyrie – Hey Smacboy.

Mactonight – This is indeed something. I feel like I’m interviewing a legend and yet you only arrived on this site a few months ago.

Valkyrie – The elbow of the great Valkyrie has been proven memorable.

Mactonight – I was in your first ever online game, you made me laugh.

Valkyrie – Laugh? I crushed everyone.

Mactonight – Not really, in your first game, you bid one.

Valkyrie – And I crushed you.

Mactonight – and then you played a Jester.

Valkyrie – It was like taking a chair to the back of the head.

Mactonight – The second hand you bid 1 again, even though 3 people ahead of you bid one and you only had an ace of off suite.

Valkyrie – Again, chair, head, ouch.

Mactonight –You then asked the table “why am I not making my bids?”

Valkyrie – And I remembered some smart arse, Poopy Penis, know it all gave me an answer.

Mactonight –Yep, I said – Hey, Wizards are the strongest cards, then trump.

Valkyrie – Sounds like something you’d say.

Mactonight –And do you remember what you said?

Valkyrie – Something profound?

Mactonight –You said, “with this new knowledge I will crush you all”

Valkyrie – I so do like the sound of Crush!

Mactonight –It was so funny.

Valkyrie – No one laughs at the Valkyrie.

Mactonight – Lately however, you’ve improved.

Valkyrie – I found new found confidence.

Mactonight –Really what’s the secret?

Valkyrie – I have become the Wizard Warrior.

Mactonight –Come on, how many different characters can you be?

Valkyrie – Characters?

Mactonight – Yes, you claim to be a female wrestler, but your profile has you as a male; you’re named after a Tom Cruise movie the character of which is a man and now you’re the Wizard Warrior?

Valkyrie –I didn’t plan it, it just happened.

Mactonight -What just happened?

Valkyrie – There was a ceremony, you didn’t hear about it?

Mactonight – Ceremony?

Valkyrie – Yes, Ken Fisher was about to choose the Wizard Warrior among the legendary five. Ken Mccoy was there, Merlin, FizzWizz, Twit Meister and Cargobeep

Mactonight – The Legendary five?

Valkyrie – I went to watch the ceremony and couldn’t see so I went to the top ropes and well, I saw an opportunity for a flying elbow and couldn’t resist.

Mactonight –Wow, what happened?

Valkyrie – Well, when I got up, Ken Fisher was pointing at me. I think he meant to point at Cargobeep, but I landed on them all, crushing them. She was pissed and whiney.

Mactonight –Sounds like her.

Valkyrie – I crushed them all.

Mactonight – So you became the Wizard Warrior?

Valkyrie – Yes, and Ken Fisher assigned Trapizoid as my mentor and teacher.

Mactonight –Trap? You’ve been trained by Trap?

Valkyrie – Yes, at the Trapizoid Wizard School.

Mactonight –The WHAT?

Valkyrie – And as soon as I win my first tournament he will pass on to me the Wizard Scroll.

Mactonight –The Wizard Scroll?

Valkyrie – Yes, Trapizoid is working very hard with me.

Mactonight – Is Trap a good teacher?

Valkyrie – He’s amazing. We had some issues at the beginning.

Mactonight - Issues? I know someone who has issues.

Valkyrie – I couldn’t figure things out, he was talking all high and mighty.

Mactonight –Sounds like Trap.

Valkyrie – Then he started relating things to wrestling. The Wizard crushes taking people tricks. Taking someone’s trump ace is like a flying elbow. After that we started to be a good tag team.

Mactonight – And there’s no stopping you.

Valkyrie – I made my first final table in December.

Mactonight – You did. I was amazed.

Valkyrie – Dragon Scroll here I come.

Mactonight – Dragon Scroll?

Valkyrie – I mean Wizard Scroll.

Mactonight – I knew this sounded familiar. You’re a movie buff aren’t you?

Valkyrie – Don’t make me crush you.

Mactonight – This is like that Kung Fu Panda movie.

Valkyrie – I will CRUSH YOU.

Mactonight –Ok, ok settle down. If you could have five players on your final table who would they be?

Valkyrie – I would like the five other students Trapizoid is teaching.

Mactonight –What? Trap is teaching more players?

Valkyrie – Well it wouldn’t be much of a school if it only had one student.

Mactonight –Uh, oh.

Valkyrie – Scared Mactonight?

Mactonight – Well…

Valkyrie – You are! LOL. You little girlie man. After this are you going to audition for the Vienna School boy Choir?

Mactonight – Oh, we’re bringing it on are we? Well lookie here, you wouldn’t win a contest for the best abs, more like for the most abs.

Valkyrie – No you did not just say that. You’re living proof that the “Three Stooges” had children.

Mactonight – Classics eh? Well, did you teach Pee Wee Herman everything he knows?

Valkyrie – I read your interview where you sang with Wizard, if they hanged you for being a good singer, they’d be hanging an innocent man.

Mactonight – The last time I saw someone like you, I had to pay admission to enter the zoo.

Valkyrie – I’m making chicken tonight, you want to come over and sit in the shake and bake bag?

Mactonight – You’re as strong as an Ox, and apparently as smart as one too.

Valkyrie – Every enemy I’ve met I’ve Crushed.

Mactonight – What from suffocation from your breath?

Valkyrie – You’re the ugliest monster I’ve ever seen.

Mactonight – If you don’t count all the women you’ve dated.

Valkyrie - I'll leave you devastated, mutilated and perforated

Mactonight – Your poor Wizard playing makes me aggravated, agitated and infuriated.

Valkyrie – Mactonight, ever wonder why you weren’t among the Legendary Five?

Mactonight – Hey, that’s a low blow.

Valkyrie – You really are a jobber.

Mactonight – What’s a jobber?

Valkyrie – Google it. You should know, this is your story.

Mactonight – Hmm, then why am I so confused?

Valkyrie – Cause I crushed you.

Mactonight – It’s been a pleasure Valkyrie.

Valkyrie – The pleasure was all yours.

Mactonight – And hopefully theirs.

Valkyrie – I’ll crush them all. KaBOOM!!! Down comes the elbow and lands a crushing blow to everyone around. And then the crowd goes wild!!! And the referee is calling for a stretcher so the wounded can be taken out of play. That battle royal tournament I played a few months ago was fun too, made it to the final round, but you wait and see. I'll wear that championship belt soon enough, prancing and dancing with my wrestling cape. You hear me Smacboy....I'll crush you too when we play online. You'll be hearing the cry of Valkyrie after I win my first Battle royal tournament and get the Wizard Scroll.

Mactonight –Trap will be proud.

Valkyrie – I’ll crush him too.

Mactonight - Whatever!

Next month, Mactonight will face his addictions.

Wizard Fantasy Deck

As you know the German Wizard deck is a “Fantasy Deck” and will be used at the 2009 Tournament in Indianapolis in August.

The legend supporting the proposed new Wizard Fantasy deck for North America was presented in last month’s Newsletter. Now I will attempt to describe the cards themselves.

The Wizard Fantasy deck for North America will maintain the 4 normal suits: Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds and Spades. The deck will consist of 13 color-coded characters representing the regular cards from 1-13. The characters depicted on the cards are:

Ace Dragon

King King

Queen Queen

Jack Knight

10 Bishop

9. Scholar

8. Bard

7. Merchant

6. Blacksmith

5. Archer

4. Farmer

3. Peasant

2. Beggar

The Wizard and Jester cards are naturally depicted by Wizards and Jesters.

Each card features a full body depiction of the character.

Each of the 4 suits will be recognizable not only by the normal indices but also by color.

Although there is only one basic character for each of the 13 cards shown above, each of the 4 cards will be distinguished by color and indices as I have mentioned. However in addition there will be a number of nuanced variations among the 4 cards. For example the “Blacksmith” representing the 6 of Hearts, 6 of Clubs, 6 of Diamonds and 6 of Spades will have subtle variations which may include clothing style, facial expressions, etc.

Unlike the German fantasy deck the characters are depicted against a plain white background similar to the cards presently used.

Next month I’ll tell you about some of the specific characters depicted in the cards.


News & Announcements are posted below the CHAT and HOSTS areas of the Portal Page. To keep abreast of events this area needs to be read regularly. Some outdated items are completely deleted while others are “archived”. Where can you find archived news items? At the extreme bottom of the “news & announcements” section in the lower right corner you will see, “Archived News”. Click on that and you will be taken to a list of all archived items. The earliest archived item dates back to 2002.

Two-Day Winter Fest

Thirty players entered the Wizard Fest 2-day tournament. I was pleased with the turnout as many cannot devote the entire week-end to Wizard. Also the Cambridge Wizard Club had a conflict and could not join us. The eventual winner was The_Wiz. Players cooperated and there were few problems which proves to me that the entire tournament could be held in 1 day rather than two. The next time I will use the same format but will limit it to 1 day. Eventually there could even be an offer of cash prizes if the number of participants warranted it. In any case that is the direction in which I am heading

2009 Annual Wizard Fest: July 17-18

Plans continue for the July 17-18 annual summer tournament. The number of confirmed registrations as of Feb. 28 is 30 (50%). Maximum allowed is 60 so if you are thinking of joining us you had best shake a leg.

Info on USA & Canadian Tournament at

Downloads & Updates

The decision has been made to concentrate on moving to a Web-based system. Consequently the focus has been on developing the new web-based program rather than trouble-shooting the current program. The advantages of a web-based system are many but I will not go into that here. The programmer, Victor, is hoping to have a Beta-test ready for the end of March. Your cooperation in testing and providing feed-back is essential. The transition to the new system will happen at some point so please help us move the process along by participating in the process. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.


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